This bear's seen better days
Now it’s my turn to find out if I could survive in times past – 10 million years previously, to be exact – by climbing into one of the UK’s oldest prehistoric flint mines, where the cave people would have spent their days working.
“Each step you’re taking down the ladder is about 10,000 years through history,” Will shouts down at me through the opening to the bunker door, as I descend into the cold, dark abyss.
Will and I then crawl through slightly panic-inducing smaller chalk-cave openings on our hands and knees, where ancient men and women carved out material for their tools and weapons.
“Argghhh!” I scream. “A bat!” One solitary mouse-with-wings navigates the tunnel, having come out of an eerie chamber containing a pile of broken flint bedrock and what looks like bones next to it. Is this what’s left of the last people who ventured down here? Will laughs.
Human bones or deer's head gear?
“No, these are the deer antlers that prehistoric men fashioned into picks for mining. They’ve lain untouched for thousands of years.
“I can definitely feel spirits in the pits,” he adds. “I often apologise to the pit for disturbing it. It’s like stepping into a puddle – the energy ripples outwards. Shall we turn off our torches and sit in the dark to absorb the ancient energy?”
Absolutely not. Spirits or no, I am spooked and shoot back up the ladder, happy to be back in the bright sunlight of the 21st century. “You’ve just time travelled!” Will says, as he re-emerges behind me. “How great is that?”
Will knapps (shapes) a flint into an axe head using a deer antler
Will’s comfortable living in the past, because he’s done it all his life. As a child, with no TV for entertainment, he immersed himself in the history of the land around him. He still doesn’t own a TV, which means he’s not only missed out on the retro romp that is Game of Thrones, but has also never seen the many programmes and films he has consulted on for historical accuracy.
It’s getting chillier out on the wild expanse, so we begin the next caveman task: making fire – a vital skill for anyone preparing for the collapse of civilisation. Will says that – alongside the outdoorsy sorts and bushcraft enthusiasts – quite a few ‘preppers’ attend his courses, believing his skills will help them get ready for the end of the world. Maybe it can’t hurt to join them.
He starts by showing me the Neolithic trick of hitting a marcasite stone with a flint from the mine. We’re trying to catch a spark on something called amadou – or mushroom ‘leather’ – from a giant fungus. In a sharp downward motion, I hit the two stones together. Nothing. I hit again. Still nothing. I’m getting pretty hungry and if I don’t make fire, there’s going to be no dinner. Ancient man didn’t have Uber Eats.
Our writer gets a spark of inspiration
The late winter sun is beginning to get low in the sky, but its light means that it’s almost impossible to see if there are any sparks flying yet.
And then… a few glowing crumbs of ember start to quickly eat away at the amadou. “That’s it!” says Will. “Now, place these fluffs of bullrush around the mushroom with some hay.” I cup the bundle tightly between my two hands to nurture it and start to blow. Plumes of smoke suddenly burst out. I blow again – this time a lick of a flame!
“Hold it like a warrioress who’s just claimed fire for herself!” Will shouts. I’m a warrioress! I’ve claimed fire for myself! Nice one, ancient me.
Venison cut with a knapped flint roasts over an open fire
I drop the burning wad into a metal pan and soon we’ve got ourselves a roaring campfire, ready to cook the raw, bloody, but now strangely appetising venison Will’s sourced for dinner.
“Some people get emotional when they make fire for the first time – it ignites a primal spark,” says Will. Obviously, some of us are meant to dwell in dank caves and others are destined to be firestarters. I’ve found my calling.
The smoky deer is delicious, and it leaves these sated cave people in reflective mood. Does Will fear the future, I wonder? “I often feel like I’ve one foot in the old world, one foot in the new world,” he muses, “but I do actually like the future, I think it’s interesting.”
I’ve enjoyed wildling life, but I’m excited to get back to 2019, where Tinder isn’t something you light and ghosting doesn’t happen in caves. I know I’ll be taking something with me, however. Watch out if you’re coming around to mine for a BBQ this summer. I’ll be the ancient warrioress tending the grill.
will-lord.co.uk
Book flights to England
Book holidays to England